Tuesday, February 3, 1998

Hamspread Has Made Me a Happy Man.

Each morning, as I get in my Range Rover and drive from my thirty-acre
country estate, I thank the Powers That Be that I've been blessed with
the job of steering the mighty ship that is Allied Chemical.


You know, I can't imagine how my life could have turned out better. 

I have a loving and vivacious wife Ginger who has borne me two
bright, well-mannered and energetic children, Brandon and Dylan 
(seeya at Disneyworld, kids!). 

Things at the office are terrific too!  I have a huge corner
right next to Farmer Fred's, a wonderfully competent executive
secretary Mitzi, and my stenographer Delilah-- say "hi" Delilah...


She's great.  Never misses thing.  Then of course there is
my personal masseuse Olaf, my gardener Chauncey, my chiropodist
and finally, let's not forget Toby, they guy who brings in the mail
and feeds the coy in the lobby.  Always a smile on Toby's

Above all that, the thing I'm most thankful for is the opportunity
to make our wonderful products available to you, the consumer. 
Whether you're enjoying Farmer
Fred's Happydale Hamspread
for breakfast, lunch or dinner, cracking
open a can of Blobster
for a fancy-dress dinner party, or simply usingAllied
Chemical All-Purpose Spray
in any one of a hundred different household
tasks, Allied Chemical is there for YOU.

So enough of my yakkin'.  It's time for my adjustment. 
Have fun exploring our site, and remember...

It's a better world...through chemicals!

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